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MONTYS FAN CLUB (Monty Are I)
with Andrew Borstein

Steph: Ok, State your name and what you do in the band.
Andrew: The Infamous -- Mad phat boner extraordinaire (trombone)

Steph: How did you become a member?
Andrew: All the guys but me went to Cranston West -- I went to East. But my girlfriend senior year went to West and I met them through her. Their old trombonist had to move to Maryland for some odd reason and I filled in on a show just to do her a favor. And you could say it was love at first hear. Or something.

Steph: How did the name 'Monty's Fan Club' come about?
Andrew: I wish I knew better. Maybe no one does. There was a music teacher at West named Mr. Montanara (AWEsome boner player by the way) and everyone called him Monty. I guess the band (formerly called Downtrend, and only with Steve and Mike on guitar and bass) then dropped their old lead singer and took on a new one and three horns and played at a talent show at West and needed a name, but I'm not sure who exactly thought of it, but that's about it.

Steph: What plans does the band have in their future?
Andrew: Ha! Plans! If only. We plan to "do shit". A LOT. In the near future, plans to tour the midwest as much as possible and make a kill 2-3 song demo.

Steph: If you could go on tour with any two bands, who would they be, and why?
Andrew: Me personally, I would go on tour with whoever knew how to party the best and whoever played for the most people. I'd say headlining Warped and Pop Disaster -- wait, that's a lot of bands. Um... I'll say Enya and Bobby McFerin. Now they're exciting people.
Steph: What about Yanni? You'd need him on that tour...
Andrew: Overrated, to be completely frank. Yo Yo Ma is where it's at. Ther'es a "Y" guy that rocks. And I'd like to tour with different types of bands, not just punk ska type stuff -- like Tribe Called Quest if they were still together, or some Cash Money Millionaires -- I bet they throw BIG parties.
Steph: They probably do. I wouldn't doubt it.
Andrew: Tommy Lee. Even Fred Durst -- I mean as long as we're on tour with anyone, why not go all out and just have fun.

Steph: If you were in a Yanni cover band, what would your Yanni name be?
Andrew: I have a Yanni name? Other than Yanni? I think if Yanni started a ska band it would be the Skayannis. And his punk band would be the Yanni Fuckers.
Steph: hahaha...that would be awesome. Or it could be called the Goat Fuckers.
Andrew: And his pop band would be the Yanni Street Boys. I would be Reginald Yanni. Cause Yanni seems like the type of guy to name one of his band members Reginald.
Steph: His rap name would be Yan-E.
Andrew: Yesh! SCHWEET! DUDE!

Steph: If Yan-E played in a town near you, would you go check them out?
Andrew: I thought he was a one man show? Well if tickets were free, yes. You can't go wrong when it's free. It's risk free! You can always get your money back if you're not satisfied.
Steph: Well, he would have goats backing him up. Haha... backing him up... um... let's move on to the next question.

Steph: Do you have any rituals before you go on stage?
Andrew: Yes, actually. Well, kind of. Me personally, it changes, but usually I have to um, drop the kids off at the pool... you know. It just helps. And I usually drink something like a Red Bull. We as a band do this thing sometimes -- or used to more often than now to get hyped up. It's kinda like a pow-wow dance excercise game routine boobies. Woops! Who was that!

Steph: What band influences you the most, musically?
Andrew: I didn't listen to any kind of punk or ska or anything remotely like this, but I know a good amount of it now. I like to think not much influences me, except me. Anything I or the band might write will hopefully be as original and as natural as possible. If it comes from me, hopefully that's the only place it originated, ya know. Steve loves Goldfinger, the twins love Rx Bandits and Incubus, Mike likes Incubus too and 311. Well, Steve loves everything.
Steph: Steve signed a brick on the sidewalk outside of Lupo's for us.
Andrew: What a sweetheart that Stephen! Or is it Steven... or just Steve...
Steph: We had Clint from the Riddlin Kids sign one too. Because... we were drawing on the sidewalk... and made them draw with us.
Andrew: Clint... only in Texas. I really liked them. We hung out with them for a little while after the show, they're the favorite band of mine that we've met.
Steph: They were cool. Clint does it R. Kelley style. {**side note** this is an inside joke i have with my friend...Clint does not do it R. Kelley style...well...not to my knowledge at least... it's just simply an inside joke between me, my friend, and him. uh..thanks..have a nice day...}
Andrew: Oooh! Gettin a little risque!
Steph: Yea, they were really nice. I liked them.

Steph: I forgot this question... Who are the other guys in the band and what do they do?
Andrew: Steve Aiello -- lead vocals and lead guitar (well, only guitar)
Mike Matarese -- bass and big muscles
Ryan Muir -- trumpet and vocals and crazy faces
Nick Salisbury -- alto sax and chair. He sits in it. A lot.
Justin Muir -- drums and Bo, his main lady

Steph: What song means the most to you, and why?
Andrew: That we play? hmm... Well, songs don't mean anything to me in the way I think they do for most people -- I don't ever listen to lyrics, except for hip hop sometimes. Otherwise, they just don't matter to me. I listen to the music for the music, and I consider lyrics poetry set to music, or an added bonus. Music speaks to me. I hear what most people hear in lyrics, in music and the way lyrics are USED makes a difference with me. I treat them like musical notes in and of themselves -- one word sounds better than another when put here or there or sung this way or that. And chords are what really speak to me, and creativity and more than that, it's kinda instinctual or something -- If a band isn't technically good or whatever, I don't care -- If the music sounds good to me then I am happy. Sometimes a good hip hop beat will make my day -- or the right chord progression. Other than that, songs that are attached with certain memories or people or places mean a lot. Like "Blackbird" by the Beatles reminds me a lot of my childhood and the awesome summers I had at camp. Sorry, I just kinda went off.
Steph: Haha... that's ok. Stuff like that is good.
Andrew: Out of our songs? I love to play/listen to handy with a steel, hearts bleeding (tentatively named) tko and ska sux the most, I think.

Steph: What's your favorite kind of cereal?
Andrew: Well, it was always Cocoa Puffs but then I switched to cereal with all kinds of crap in it, now it's back to good ol' Cheerios -- they never get old!

Steph: What are your thoughts on the Trix Rabbit?
Andrew: Honestly, I don't know if I can muster up any thoughts on the Trix Rabbit. Trying... trying...
Steph: Do you think the kids should give him the Trix?
Andrew: Well, I think it's just one big misunderstanding. You see, Trix are for kids, and he is just so darn silly he can't comprehend that.
Steph: I'm just wondering how he knows they are so 'great' if he's never had them before...
Andrew: Well, I think it's obvious he has some repressed emotions and negative feelings towards his mother -- that causes him to imagine himself enjoying these "Trix"
Steph: Haha..that was the best answer I've ever gotten.
Andrew: And you ask this often? Maybe you should lie down on this couch too. Tell me, what does this ink blot look like?
Steph: A butterfly
Andrew: (MFC... MFC... MFC...) Or a butterfly I guess.
Steph: MFC!
Andrew: Oh yes! Exactly! Can you hear my fake british accent?
Steph: Yes... yes I can hear it quite well actually.
Andrew: All freudian psychologists need a fake british accent.

Steph: What's your favorite movie?
Andrew: Yes! I tell everyone I see about it! Memento!!!
Steph: What's it about?
Andrew: I think partly it's because I can relate to the main character -- but more than that, it's just unbelievably brilliant film making, a friggin masterpiece. You haven't seen it! Go! Right now! Video store and rent! Well, I don't wanna give anything away but, it's about a guy who lost his short term memory altogether in a freak accident and it's about what his life is like.

Steph: If I chased you down, stole your shoes, threw them across a vacant lot, ran and picked one up, and looked inside, what size would be printed on it?
Andrew: None. It'd be worn out.
Steph: Aww... that's too bad.
Andrew: Depends on the shoe I guess -- between 1 and 13. I think. Closer to 10 or 11 though.

Steph: What would you say is your worst habit?
Andrew: Oh man, I don't know if you can call it a habit or just a trait of mine. I forget EVERYTHING and lose EVERYTHING. No matter how important. I have a severe problem with forgetting and losing things. Check out our website -- there's a story about me in the news section (click it to read) about one night of a show all the retarded stuff I did that night. And another guestbook post about it.

Steph: Do you have a favorite article of clothing or one with any sort of special significance?
Andrew: Yes, my watch. I am naked without it. And my hoody sweatshirt, I don't wear it often but when I have it or need it I am glad.

Steph: What kind of socks do you wear?
Andrew: All kinds of crazy socks -- none that match. Short, long, knee, shin, white, black, blue, green.

Steph: Do you know what argyle socks are?
Andrew: yes
Steph: What are your thoughts on them?
Andrew: This is weird how I know -- only because when you asked before about doing an interview I checked out your site and some of your past interviews. I'm weird like that.
Steph: I'm weird too... haha. I like argyle socks.
Andrew: I know now and knowing is half the battle. I think argyle socks are just a scallywag of a good time dear ol' chap!

Steph: What would you do if you were walking down the street and you came across an explosive camel reading a book about your mother?
Andrew: Is this camel like ready to blow with a lit fuse? Or if I touch him does he explode? Is he controlled by remote?
Steph: No... he's just... explosive..
Andrew: If I mix him with baking soda will he errupt like my 6th grade science project?
Steph: Quite possibly...
Andrew: That would be cool, then my mom would ride the wave or stored camel water (from the humps of course) all the way to safety and then the book she was reading would um wind up somewhere interesting.
Steph: No no... the CAMEL is reading the book. And the book is about your mom.
Andrew: Oh woops. I have to pay attention better. Well I would take the book and sell the rights to it and become famous. And then start a tribute band to my mom. But play the drums with one arm! Cause he exploded! I'm like the guy from AC/DC!

Steph: If you had the choice of owning either a penguin farm or a llama farm, which would you choose and why?
Andrew: Oh definitely penguins. They are a lot more fun. They slide on their bellies and swim around and waddle funny.

Steph: If you were a pinata, what shape would you be?
Andrew: Anything that makes people mad. What makes people mad?
Steph: Rosie O' Donnell
Andrew: I don't want to hit her that much.
Steph: Oprah?
Andrew: I want to hit... I give up. I'd be a big bank vault with money inside.

Steph: So I assume you'd be filled with money?
Andrew: Yes -- I want to reward the people who crack me open.
Steph: Would you be filled with change or bills?or both? Change might hurt...
Andrew: Change. I think people should earn the money. Think about this -- what if you were paid to pick up change off the ground... No, not paid -- if that was your job, but you got to keep all the change, all assorted coins. Would you do it? I know I would. Cause I could pick up like 20 quarters a minute. And that's a lot per minute -- cause people never want to pick up change, but in reality it's quite worth the effort.
Steph: Hobos would want to pick up the change. You know that show you guys played at Lupo's with Mest?
Andrew: If I was a hobo I would play my trombone all day. Yes I am familiar with it.
Steph: Well, a homeless poet ran up to us and was all trying to read us his scary poems... and he hit on my friend. It was scary.
Andrew: I remember him too. Homeless people like him are really interesting. Where did he type it all up? Does he own a computer but no home? With all the effort he puts into writing poems and typing them up and trying to get change, he could have had a couple real jobs by now.
Steph: I asked him how he typed it up. He was like 'on an oooooolllld typewritah' (he had a new york type accent to begin with )
Andrew: haha NICE
Steph: Then he started getting scary and telling us to call him "Larry the Leprechaun" and calling us "lassies" and "laddies" Then eventually he ran away. Then at a show a few days later... we saw him in Dunkin Donuts... and we RAN down the street... and the Lupo's guards were gonna beat him up... because he wouldn't leave people alone.
Andrew: I saw a kid get beat up BAD by a Lupo's bouncer right after we played, outside the front.
Steph: But at the Mest show... after the poet left... another homeless guy came up to us and started telling us about how he use to sell crack from an ice cream truck. That was the weirdest/funnest show ever.
Andrew: That show was my favorite one yet, I'd have to say. For sure.
Steph: I'd have to agree with you there. We didn't get to watch Catch22 because we were outside drawing on the sidewalk with Clint... but it was still fun.
Andrew: We might play with Catch22 again and the Riddlin Kids -- we kinda made friends with them.
Steph: Then after the show we just roamed around for awhile... hugged some trees... and then got locked out of our car. So we went to the Met Cafe, made some new friends in a band, and they got the car open for us.
Andrew: Friends in a band are always useful -- they are very resourceful.

Steph: If Martha Stewart walked up to you and said "What's the dilly yo?", What would you say/do, and why?
Andrew: "The dilly for rilly? Yo, dat ish is hot, iss off da heezy fo sheezy, ma neezy! Flip that strizzy so we can git bizzy, knownmsayin?"
Steph: That was 2 things... scary... but funny as all hell.
Andrew: Oh ok I would also make sure I don't let her leave without finding out her secret chocolate chip cookie recipe.
Steph: Good thinking.

Steph: Who would you rather bring to a deserted island --- Alf, Mr. Rogers, or Miss Cleo?
Andrew: Miss Cleo. Just by process of elimination. What REALLY does Mr. Rogers have to offer? We're not in his beautiful neighborhood anymore, that lil blue jacket won't do any good. I can only hope for some entertainment or some foresight into my destiny on that island, ya know.
Steph: She's in jail ya know... for being a fraud...
Andrew: really?
Steph: Yea... so if she made anymore annoying commercials... she would be behind bars... wearing a black and white stripped outfit... with a matching striped turban... and could be all "CALL ME NOW! (I only get one phone call a day)"
Andrew: She's really in jail? Wow, it said for entertainment only though, weird.
Steph: But yea, the foresight would be fake. She would tell you your mothers brothers uncle is cheating on his wifes llama with a cat named Sally.
Andrew: Well that's good to know I guess.
Steph: Possibly...

Steph: Well, that's all the questions I have for now. Thank you for taking the time to do this wonderful little interview.
Andrew: Well thank you for taking the time to take some time.

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